I usually do a card reading at the beginning of each year. This has historically been sort of like an annual forecast. Last year I didn't do a reading. Considering how 2020 panned out for most people, I am glad that I did not. If I had been warned about how challenging the year was going to be, I would have reflected back on the reading every time things took a new turn. Frankly, I think it would have kept me from being in the moment. It may have even affected how much I invested myself in my choices, which would have been a disservice to myself. Being surprised and frightened in real time, alongside everyone else, provided me with the experience of not feeling isolated and alone, despite the isolation that I attained.
With that in mind, I had decided that I would refrain from continuing the tradition of the annual New Years Day reading. However, I have been haunted by a bell for a few months now. I decided that perhaps my cards could help me interpret the message of the bell.
It seemed like a random sound at first. As I grew more aware of it, it seems to have become more frequent, and has begun following me into town. It has even made itself known to my girlfriend and her daughter. I have been trying to determine exactly what it is that I am supposed to be learning from/ helping with from the apparent message? Or if it is simply trying to drive me crazy.
For a while I thought that perhaps I was just imagining it. Until, of course, others also heard the bell. I can best describe it as a dinner bell. It sounds a lot like the old dinner bell that I inherited from my great grandmother when I was a child. I was only 8 years old and did not know her well. She immigrated here as a young adult with her husband. That was probably near 100 years ago now. They never lived anywhere near where I am. For a bit, I thought perhaps that every time I heard a bell, it meant that someone noteworthy had passed. With the pandemic, so many people are passing. And like stars, our souls resonate.
So is it possible that the passing of a soul always makes a sound, and the more pain felt by the loss of their life, the louder the resonance when they depart? Or perhaps the greater their impact on the world, the louder their soul echoes as it moves from this dimension to the next, like breaking a sound barrier? Would that explain why sometimes the bell is almost indecipherable, and other times it is so loud that I feel a shiver through my entire body, as if it had been rung right behind my head?
So many questions ran through my head with the increased frequency of the bell. Is it the same bell, or are there multiple bells? After a couple of months, the bell is beginning to drive me crazy. I want to know. Is this a sign that I am supposed to be receiving and interpreting? Or is this happening everywhere, and others are hearing the bells also, and just not talking about it? Or is someone in particular actually haunting me? Is it one of my previously friended cats trying to tell me that they miss me? What in the hell is going on?
So here is what my Tarot Deck gave me. If you are not familiar with Morgan's Tarot, it is not your typical deck of divination cards. And for those you do not know me, I will simply explain that I am not your typical human. This deck has been with me for 25 years now, and I feel a strong connection with this tool.
First Row
1. FREAK
This card may mean that it is all right to be what you are.
Or, the situation is radically different from what it normally is. Or, despite the fact that everything is okay, it doesn't feel that way. Refreshing influences rather than draining influences may dispel your anxiety.
So, even though I keep hearing this bell, I shouldn't be freaked out about it. Yes, the world is radically different that it has ever been in my lifetime, and of course, I am going to be picking up on things, because I do that. But, regardless, I shouldn't let it freak me out as much as I have been?
2. WHO IS WATCHING THE COSMIC DRAMA?
Some answers:
(a) You (b) Me (c) It hasn't started yet. (d) We (the gods such as the Greek gods on Olympus) invented the drama for kicks and then forgot who we were and started believing that it is real.
Like the "Who Am I?" and the "What Are You Feeling Now?" cards, this card is a meditative tool for increasing awareness.
So, I am asking the question “who is this ringing the bell and trying to get my attention”, and the question is flung right back at me. I am taking this card as an affirmation that the cards do understand my question. And the universe may be laughing at me, because it probably is amusing to watch me squirm simply by ringing a damn dinner bell randomly throughout the day.
3. NO TRIPS WITHOUT A TRIPPER
Sorry, but if you don't do it, it won't happen. Most ego trips require some sort of ego. Strictly speaking, the tripper is not separate from the trip.
Does this mean that it is something that I am actually projecting? Or should I take this as an affirmation that it is actually being caused by an external entity that is in fact become more active simply because its getting a response from me?
Second Row
4. I THINK I'LL MAKE A BUDDHA
The inspiration for this card was a three-year-old child's response to a question about what he would like to model out of the clay he had been given.
I usually take this card as a reminder that I have creative powers that I often overlook. I could apply this concept to this particular situation a couple of ways. One, that perhaps my imagination is so strong, and I am not actually utilizing these creative energies enough, that they are overflowing and have in fact become a somewhat separate entity, something akin to a poltergeist. Or two, that perhaps, I should not focus on what the material is, but rather what it can become, with the application of my own creativity, I could instead choose to interpret it as a muse reminding me, or perhaps even trying to inspire me to return to writing or painting?
5. DEATH / REBIRTH
*It is noteworthy that the bell rang very loudly as I was typing the sentence (below) “If you were dead, dreaming you were alive, and if the laws of your death dream were as consistent as those of life, then perhaps there would be no difference between life and death.”
If you were dead, dreaming you were alive, and if the laws of your death dream were as consistent as those of life, then perhaps there would be no difference between life and death.
Death and rebirth have many meanings. The number of realms and spaces in both are beyond all reckoning. The Death/Rebirth card might refer to the phenomenon of radical alteration and transportation problems involved in changing realms.
Again I am struck with a couple of different ways this could be applied to my situation. Specifically because the bell rang during the typing of this card, and I have been asking specifically for a more detailed messaging system that simply ringing a bell- if in fact this is an entity that is trying to convey a message to me- it has been frustrating for me because I don't know what the bell is supposed to mean. I have been hoping for a more detailed message that would be easier to understand. The bell ringing during this particular card reinforced the gut feeling that when I hear the bell, it does indicate/represent/speak for [or to] the soul of another once living being, who, in present circumstances, does not ride around in a meat suit.
Another potential thought that occurs to me when considering this card, and its appearance at this pinnacle time in my life, in the world, as it is in turmoil- is the Mandela effect. Is it possible that the walls between dimensions are so thin and fragile right now that we are constantly crossing paths? Reality is literally shattering and cracking in some ways as great swaths of people are being hit in the crossfire of ricocheting realities as the these separate paths crash into each other, that runaway trains, or intersecting highways without proper control lights.
IF multitasking is simply changing tasks really really quickly, so quickly that we do not even consciously perceive the changeover, then is it possible that we, as human beings, creatures of light and sound and energy, are moving so seamlessly between these two realities, that we are unable to perceive that we are actually moving between dimensions? Or, are we perceiving this movement just enough to be disoriented and confused? So many of us are really overwhelmed and feeling pretty disoriented in the present day. The world really seems to be shattering. But that wouldn't necessarily explain the bell. So I will move on to...
6. THE VALLEY
This feminine earth card means rest from turbulence.
Or the valley could be the paradise of the harmonious realms -- the hidden valleys of Shambhala.
I would say this card likely refers to my current living situation. Camping out in the woods on a farm has provided a safe quiet space away from people in a time when people have been encouraged to social distance, or simply refrain from going out in public whenever possible. I have been wanting to get away from the people and the city for a long time. Frankly the pandemic increased the urgency to retract from town interactions, but it has not brought me misery. On the contrary, I have quite enjoyed being able to withdraw and isolate in the country. Despite being away from family and friends, it really does feel like a paradise.
Third Row
7. THERE IS NO YOU
The knowledge that the universe operates with no outside help and that you are an integral part of this phenomenon can have a liberating effect.
8. YOU ARE OUR GOD
There is none other. This is the other side of the "There is No You" card. The kingdom of heaven is within, and you can find yourself ever anew in the universe. However, as god you are part of humanity. Thus, the Buddhists encourage infinite compassion for all living beings.
9. STOP
Cease being guided by omens.
The universe is not entirely in harmony with your will. A psychic jolt can change the flow of events or even re-channel it.
These last three cards laid out in a row is striking to me. The combination of There is no you and You are our god, side by side seems ironic, then followed by Stop? Seriously. I love this Tarot Deck because it has always had a sense of humor. It has also never been wrong, so far as I have seen.
So this is what I get from the last three cards together.
Yes, you have extrasensory perception, and you are in fact picking up on something remarkable. But. Don't really consider yourself all that special because you are not the only one. It will continue to happen whether you like it or not because you are connected and part of something much greater and more vast. It is significant and yet, the patterns in which the universe conducts itself have been present and moving in their manner long before you were aware of them, and they will continue in their manner, long after you pass on, so don't worry too much about it. Just know that everything is connected. You are part of it. Don't get hung up on it. Don't try and turn it into some great task or undertaking. If you get a good idea for a story, great. If you get a good idea for a painting, great. If not, oh well. Its not because of the bell. The bell is not going to stop, just like the wind. Its just something you can perceive. Ponder it, or dismiss it, but its not going to go away simply because you “figure something out”, because its not there for your benefit or distraction. It simply exists, and is part of everything that is connected, just like you.
This does not exactly answer my questions. However, it is possible that I will not find the answer to any of the questions until I can slow down my thoughts and really focus on one point at a time. I asked several different questions, almost a barrage of free form thought, as I was shuffling my cards. And in response, I got a barrage of free form responses. All of them are relevant to my life currently, and still I don't feel like I got the answer I was looking for.
It makes me think of the Hitch hikers Guide to the Galaxy, wherein the great machine is tasked to find the answer to “life, the universe, and everything”. The machine finally concludes that the answer is 42, to which there is much confusion. The lesson conveyed in this cult classic novel, is simply put. Sometimes it is more important to figure out which question to ask.
If you do not ask the right questions, you may never get the answer you are looking for. So what is the right question? I know that I want to gain a better understanding, but for what purpose? What am I actually trying to accomplish? Am I really trying to make the bell go away? I don't think I am. I just want to regain control over my reality, and when the bell rings, it reminds me of the lack of control I actually have in my life. To the extent which a random unexplained bell, could actually overpower my thoughts enough to the point of disorientation and alerted apprehension. It is about understanding or is it about control?
The final card indicates that I should not try to interpret the bell as some great omen, or message, or messenger. Perhaps this is a reminder that I should not focus on what I cannot control. If the bell reminds me of the feeling of not being on control of my life, then perhaps what I should be focusing on interpreting is my reaction to the stimulus and not the stimulus itself.
In other words, not every bird that flies by is an omen to be interpreted. Most of the time, its probably just a bird flying by because it lives near by. The world does not revolve around you. You are simply part of it. And so are an uncountable amount of other sentient things. And, unfortunately for your particular sensibilities, not all of them have meat suits.
And then. As I put the finishing touches on this document, 3 bells chime in a row. I have nothing turned on, or plugged in that would make these sounds. I have no belongings that carry these tones. I am in the country, where there are no businesses broadcasting; there is nothing here to create these noises. I know I am supposed to just accept these things exist. And yet, it will take a considerable amount of time for it to stop making me seriously unnerved.
Tell me, do you hear bells too? Have you begun experiencing anything similar since the pandemic began? I would love to know!
With that in mind, I had decided that I would refrain from continuing the tradition of the annual New Years Day reading. However, I have been haunted by a bell for a few months now. I decided that perhaps my cards could help me interpret the message of the bell.
It seemed like a random sound at first. As I grew more aware of it, it seems to have become more frequent, and has begun following me into town. It has even made itself known to my girlfriend and her daughter. I have been trying to determine exactly what it is that I am supposed to be learning from/ helping with from the apparent message? Or if it is simply trying to drive me crazy.
For a while I thought that perhaps I was just imagining it. Until, of course, others also heard the bell. I can best describe it as a dinner bell. It sounds a lot like the old dinner bell that I inherited from my great grandmother when I was a child. I was only 8 years old and did not know her well. She immigrated here as a young adult with her husband. That was probably near 100 years ago now. They never lived anywhere near where I am. For a bit, I thought perhaps that every time I heard a bell, it meant that someone noteworthy had passed. With the pandemic, so many people are passing. And like stars, our souls resonate.
So is it possible that the passing of a soul always makes a sound, and the more pain felt by the loss of their life, the louder the resonance when they depart? Or perhaps the greater their impact on the world, the louder their soul echoes as it moves from this dimension to the next, like breaking a sound barrier? Would that explain why sometimes the bell is almost indecipherable, and other times it is so loud that I feel a shiver through my entire body, as if it had been rung right behind my head?
So many questions ran through my head with the increased frequency of the bell. Is it the same bell, or are there multiple bells? After a couple of months, the bell is beginning to drive me crazy. I want to know. Is this a sign that I am supposed to be receiving and interpreting? Or is this happening everywhere, and others are hearing the bells also, and just not talking about it? Or is someone in particular actually haunting me? Is it one of my previously friended cats trying to tell me that they miss me? What in the hell is going on?
So here is what my Tarot Deck gave me. If you are not familiar with Morgan's Tarot, it is not your typical deck of divination cards. And for those you do not know me, I will simply explain that I am not your typical human. This deck has been with me for 25 years now, and I feel a strong connection with this tool.
First Row
1. FREAK
This card may mean that it is all right to be what you are.
Or, the situation is radically different from what it normally is. Or, despite the fact that everything is okay, it doesn't feel that way. Refreshing influences rather than draining influences may dispel your anxiety.
So, even though I keep hearing this bell, I shouldn't be freaked out about it. Yes, the world is radically different that it has ever been in my lifetime, and of course, I am going to be picking up on things, because I do that. But, regardless, I shouldn't let it freak me out as much as I have been?
2. WHO IS WATCHING THE COSMIC DRAMA?
Some answers:
(a) You (b) Me (c) It hasn't started yet. (d) We (the gods such as the Greek gods on Olympus) invented the drama for kicks and then forgot who we were and started believing that it is real.
Like the "Who Am I?" and the "What Are You Feeling Now?" cards, this card is a meditative tool for increasing awareness.
So, I am asking the question “who is this ringing the bell and trying to get my attention”, and the question is flung right back at me. I am taking this card as an affirmation that the cards do understand my question. And the universe may be laughing at me, because it probably is amusing to watch me squirm simply by ringing a damn dinner bell randomly throughout the day.
3. NO TRIPS WITHOUT A TRIPPER
Sorry, but if you don't do it, it won't happen. Most ego trips require some sort of ego. Strictly speaking, the tripper is not separate from the trip.
Does this mean that it is something that I am actually projecting? Or should I take this as an affirmation that it is actually being caused by an external entity that is in fact become more active simply because its getting a response from me?
Second Row
4. I THINK I'LL MAKE A BUDDHA
The inspiration for this card was a three-year-old child's response to a question about what he would like to model out of the clay he had been given.
I usually take this card as a reminder that I have creative powers that I often overlook. I could apply this concept to this particular situation a couple of ways. One, that perhaps my imagination is so strong, and I am not actually utilizing these creative energies enough, that they are overflowing and have in fact become a somewhat separate entity, something akin to a poltergeist. Or two, that perhaps, I should not focus on what the material is, but rather what it can become, with the application of my own creativity, I could instead choose to interpret it as a muse reminding me, or perhaps even trying to inspire me to return to writing or painting?
5. DEATH / REBIRTH
*It is noteworthy that the bell rang very loudly as I was typing the sentence (below) “If you were dead, dreaming you were alive, and if the laws of your death dream were as consistent as those of life, then perhaps there would be no difference between life and death.”
If you were dead, dreaming you were alive, and if the laws of your death dream were as consistent as those of life, then perhaps there would be no difference between life and death.
Death and rebirth have many meanings. The number of realms and spaces in both are beyond all reckoning. The Death/Rebirth card might refer to the phenomenon of radical alteration and transportation problems involved in changing realms.
Again I am struck with a couple of different ways this could be applied to my situation. Specifically because the bell rang during the typing of this card, and I have been asking specifically for a more detailed messaging system that simply ringing a bell- if in fact this is an entity that is trying to convey a message to me- it has been frustrating for me because I don't know what the bell is supposed to mean. I have been hoping for a more detailed message that would be easier to understand. The bell ringing during this particular card reinforced the gut feeling that when I hear the bell, it does indicate/represent/speak for [or to] the soul of another once living being, who, in present circumstances, does not ride around in a meat suit.
Another potential thought that occurs to me when considering this card, and its appearance at this pinnacle time in my life, in the world, as it is in turmoil- is the Mandela effect. Is it possible that the walls between dimensions are so thin and fragile right now that we are constantly crossing paths? Reality is literally shattering and cracking in some ways as great swaths of people are being hit in the crossfire of ricocheting realities as the these separate paths crash into each other, that runaway trains, or intersecting highways without proper control lights.
IF multitasking is simply changing tasks really really quickly, so quickly that we do not even consciously perceive the changeover, then is it possible that we, as human beings, creatures of light and sound and energy, are moving so seamlessly between these two realities, that we are unable to perceive that we are actually moving between dimensions? Or, are we perceiving this movement just enough to be disoriented and confused? So many of us are really overwhelmed and feeling pretty disoriented in the present day. The world really seems to be shattering. But that wouldn't necessarily explain the bell. So I will move on to...
6. THE VALLEY
This feminine earth card means rest from turbulence.
Or the valley could be the paradise of the harmonious realms -- the hidden valleys of Shambhala.
I would say this card likely refers to my current living situation. Camping out in the woods on a farm has provided a safe quiet space away from people in a time when people have been encouraged to social distance, or simply refrain from going out in public whenever possible. I have been wanting to get away from the people and the city for a long time. Frankly the pandemic increased the urgency to retract from town interactions, but it has not brought me misery. On the contrary, I have quite enjoyed being able to withdraw and isolate in the country. Despite being away from family and friends, it really does feel like a paradise.
Third Row
7. THERE IS NO YOU
The knowledge that the universe operates with no outside help and that you are an integral part of this phenomenon can have a liberating effect.
8. YOU ARE OUR GOD
There is none other. This is the other side of the "There is No You" card. The kingdom of heaven is within, and you can find yourself ever anew in the universe. However, as god you are part of humanity. Thus, the Buddhists encourage infinite compassion for all living beings.
9. STOP
Cease being guided by omens.
The universe is not entirely in harmony with your will. A psychic jolt can change the flow of events or even re-channel it.
These last three cards laid out in a row is striking to me. The combination of There is no you and You are our god, side by side seems ironic, then followed by Stop? Seriously. I love this Tarot Deck because it has always had a sense of humor. It has also never been wrong, so far as I have seen.
So this is what I get from the last three cards together.
Yes, you have extrasensory perception, and you are in fact picking up on something remarkable. But. Don't really consider yourself all that special because you are not the only one. It will continue to happen whether you like it or not because you are connected and part of something much greater and more vast. It is significant and yet, the patterns in which the universe conducts itself have been present and moving in their manner long before you were aware of them, and they will continue in their manner, long after you pass on, so don't worry too much about it. Just know that everything is connected. You are part of it. Don't get hung up on it. Don't try and turn it into some great task or undertaking. If you get a good idea for a story, great. If you get a good idea for a painting, great. If not, oh well. Its not because of the bell. The bell is not going to stop, just like the wind. Its just something you can perceive. Ponder it, or dismiss it, but its not going to go away simply because you “figure something out”, because its not there for your benefit or distraction. It simply exists, and is part of everything that is connected, just like you.
This does not exactly answer my questions. However, it is possible that I will not find the answer to any of the questions until I can slow down my thoughts and really focus on one point at a time. I asked several different questions, almost a barrage of free form thought, as I was shuffling my cards. And in response, I got a barrage of free form responses. All of them are relevant to my life currently, and still I don't feel like I got the answer I was looking for.
It makes me think of the Hitch hikers Guide to the Galaxy, wherein the great machine is tasked to find the answer to “life, the universe, and everything”. The machine finally concludes that the answer is 42, to which there is much confusion. The lesson conveyed in this cult classic novel, is simply put. Sometimes it is more important to figure out which question to ask.
If you do not ask the right questions, you may never get the answer you are looking for. So what is the right question? I know that I want to gain a better understanding, but for what purpose? What am I actually trying to accomplish? Am I really trying to make the bell go away? I don't think I am. I just want to regain control over my reality, and when the bell rings, it reminds me of the lack of control I actually have in my life. To the extent which a random unexplained bell, could actually overpower my thoughts enough to the point of disorientation and alerted apprehension. It is about understanding or is it about control?
The final card indicates that I should not try to interpret the bell as some great omen, or message, or messenger. Perhaps this is a reminder that I should not focus on what I cannot control. If the bell reminds me of the feeling of not being on control of my life, then perhaps what I should be focusing on interpreting is my reaction to the stimulus and not the stimulus itself.
In other words, not every bird that flies by is an omen to be interpreted. Most of the time, its probably just a bird flying by because it lives near by. The world does not revolve around you. You are simply part of it. And so are an uncountable amount of other sentient things. And, unfortunately for your particular sensibilities, not all of them have meat suits.
And then. As I put the finishing touches on this document, 3 bells chime in a row. I have nothing turned on, or plugged in that would make these sounds. I have no belongings that carry these tones. I am in the country, where there are no businesses broadcasting; there is nothing here to create these noises. I know I am supposed to just accept these things exist. And yet, it will take a considerable amount of time for it to stop making me seriously unnerved.
Tell me, do you hear bells too? Have you begun experiencing anything similar since the pandemic began? I would love to know!